


Where It Hurts

by FionaNotJuliet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Bokuaka - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, bokuto has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FionaNotJuliet/pseuds/FionaNotJuliet
Summary: Bokuto was no stranger to anxiety, but today it felt oppressive, taking over every aspect of his life. Akaashi notices and tries to help his senpai.





	Where It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> I wrote this from a prompt I received on twitter. 
> 
> BokuAka and a kiss where it hurts. 
> 
> I took a few liberties with that meaning

The anxiety wasn’t something new, Bokuto was more than used to the ever pressing emotions that left his lungs aching for more air and his heart feeling squeezed inside an invisible fist. 

He tried to do what he did every time the anxiety felt too overwhelming, forced a smile and tried to cheer everyone around him up, but even to his own ears the cheerfulness sounded lackluster.

Everyone in the volleyball club was used to Bokuto’s emo phases, so, for the most part, he was able to get away with acting like his usual cheerful self. But the thought of suffering, truly hurting inside, and having no one realize it just made the anxiety burn harder. 

Nevertheless, Bokuto gave a boisterous laugh and shouted his signature, ‘hey, hey, hey!’ Overwhelming panic or not, he wasn’t going to let that get in the way of his favorite past time.

Except, everything felt off, a little too off center. 

There had been a hope that the sport would get Bokuto’s mind off his troubles, that he’d be able to just focus on hitting spikes and the pressure within his chest would simply be released. That was a foolish hope, even for him. 

Akaashi peered at Bokuto through his peripheral, an amount of concern welling in his own chest. Bokuto had missed three of his tosses in a row. What was worse, Bokuto hardly even reacted to the missed tosses. 

There was usually a certain amount of playful banter between the two whenever a spike was missed, but when Akaashi tried to tease Bokuto, there wasn’t even a response. Not a laugh, not a frown, just Bokuto staring at his hand deftly. 

At that moment, Akaashi realized that something larger was at play and decided it would be best to let Bokuto collect himself, before he sent anymore tosses his way. He knew that Bokuto’s spirit would only break more if the tosses continued to be missed.

What Akaashi didn’t count on, was the fact that Bokuto not receiving any tosses or further banter, only made him feel more isolated and lost. Bokuto’s brows pulled together and he could feel the weight pressing further on his chest. 

Akaashi had lost faith in him. 

It was the only thought that continued to spiral through Bokuto’s mind, sending him down into the deepest, darkest parts of his brain. He could handle being anxious and in a funk, but the idea of Akaashi, his Akaashi, losing faith in him was far too much. 

Bokuto shut down, his body going through the motions of his usual practice routine, but his mind constantly played on loop how Akaashi had stopped trying. It was what Bokuto expected and deserved. At least, that’s what the anxiety continued to tell him.

At the end of practice, everyone made their way back to the club room, laughing and chatting as was normal. Bokuto didn’t try to join in this time, his spirit too broken and sore. He sat down, back to the rest of the team as he slowly gathered his things. 

Akaashi watched with a piercing stare, not trying to joke with the others and play along with them. His sole focus and worry was Bokuto. 

Slowly, too slowly, everyone filtered out of the club room, leaving only Akaashi and a broken Bokuto. 

Akaashi was about to move to Bokuto’s side when he finally heard it, a harsh, but quiet inhale, the sound a person made when they were trying so desperately not to be heard before the floodgates released. 

Bokuto breathed in, again, trying to stop the panic from overwhelming him and ending with heaving sobs. Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite able to stop the tears from coming. 

Akaashi dropped his bag, moving immediately to Bokuto’s side, hand lightly reaching out to touch his arm, letting him know he wasn’t alone. “Bokuto-San. Please tell me what’s wrong,” he said, voice just barely above a whisper.

Bokuto startled at the touch and the voice, his pinched face looking up towards Akaashi, hand moving to wipe the tears away so he could properly see his friend. “‘Kaashi?” His voice was rough and thick with more unshed tears. 

“I’m right here,” Akaashi whispered, gently wrapping his fingers around Bokuto’s wrist, lightly tugging him to face the setter. His free hand reached up, gently cupping Bokuto’s cheek, before using a thumb to   
sweep the tears from under his eyes. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

The voice was gentle, but commanding enough to garner Bokuto’s full attention. He nodded lightly, before leaning into the hand on his cheek. “I don’t really know,” he admitted, voice soft, something unusual and new for Akaashi to experience. 

The younger boy’s chest ached with how small and broken his senpai seemed at that moment. Akaashi gave a nod, thumb gently rubbing circles into Bokuto’s wrist, offering a little bit of comfort. “That’s okay, Bokuto-San. You don’t have to know what it is. I’ll wait with you.”

Bokuto balked, eyes wide and mouth slack in an ‘o’ shape. “I thought you-“ he paused, unsure of how to continue. Akaashi stroked his thumb along Bokuto’s cheek bone, waiting patiently, as promised. “You didn’t throw anymore tosses to me.”

It wasn’t framed as a question, but Akaashi knew that Bokuto was asking him why. Akaashi gave a soft hum, shifting on his knees so he could get a little closer to Bokuto. “I could tell you were already off and upset. I was afraid that continuing to miss the tosses would upset you more.”

“Oh.” It was the only response that Bokuto could formulate. Akaashi was never one to mince words, so he knew that the younger male was speaking truthfully. But the anxiety and pain was still fresh. “I thought… Akaashi, I thought you didn’t trust me anymore.”

Bokuto’s voice was so quiet, Akaashi had to lean in to hear him properly. Almost immediately, Akaashi abandoned the idea keeping some distance between them. He realized that his choice had hurt more than it had helped and there was nothing more that he wanted than to comfort Bokuto. So, Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug. 

“I’m sorry, Bokuto,” he said, a hand moving to curl into the silver and black spikes, crushing their chests together in a tight hug. “You still have my trust. You always have. I didn’t mean to make you think otherwise.”

Bokuto was shocked, his hands on either side of Akaashi beginning to shake, unsure of what to do. After a long moment, he slowly wrapped the arms around Akaashi, hands gripping into his shirt, holding him tightly. “I do?” He asked, voice wavering with more tears ready to fall.

Akaashi nodded, turning his head to press a gentle kiss to Bokuto’s temple. “I trust you, Bokuto. In volleyball. In school. In life.” He pulled back just enough so that he could press a soft kiss to Bokuto’s forehead, then over each eyelid. 

“Oh,” came the quiet response from Bokuto, hands still gripping Akaashi’s shirt, eyes closed, and a new feeling blooming in chest. The anxiety was still there, but this helped lessen it. 

Akaashi leaned back then, a streak of red spread across his cheeks as he looked at Bokuto. This wasn’t the time for a true confession, he knew that, but the tears had stopped and Bokuto seemed to believe that he fully trusted him. 

Seeing the blush on Akaashi’s cheeks brought out the pink in Bokuto’s own cheeks. It also brought something else out, a small smile. It wasn’t Bokuto’s normal, toothy grin, but something softer and new, yet still good. The smile meant hope. That maybe things would be just a little better now, because now Bokuto knew that he didn’t have to handle things alone, he would always have Akaashi to help him.


End file.
